I went to the date zah2aneh o mish tay2a 7ali, but the minute I saw him I changed my mind.. he was the most good looking- stunning guy I have ever seen.. he was an orthopedic who lives in England, smart, funny, and talkative.. I felt that I can talk to him forever..
My friend called me at night and told me that he found me amazing.. that was the best night of my life.. we went out every single night for the next couple of weeks that he had left in Amman.. he called when he reached when he reached London and again when he reached him hometown.. we had nothing to talk about since we only spent 2 weeks together but we kept calling each other and talking about food 😉
The distance and the fact that his work couldn’t give him days off to come to Amman made it hard.. he was supposed to come back to Amman after 3 months but when he told me that he wont be able to make it I thought that was it, it will not last longer… but he made all the effort that it did.. he kept calling even when sometimes I didn’t want to pick up cause I didn’t know what we are going to talk about.. we have no people in common, we already talked about each others, our families and our dreams and we have nothing more to say.. as they say “Away from the eye, away from the heart”
And finally after 7 months he came to Amman.. the first day was weird, it was as if it was our first date but then we spent most of the time together, I introduced him to my colleagues and my friends, and he introduced me to his friends. He even visited our house and met my mother. He was different than any other guys I have ever met..
And then he had to leave again, and he did without saying a thing.. I mean I felt that he is not an emotional, he does not express his emotions easily, and when I asked him about it he said that actions speak out for words.. it was fine with me as I was not an emotional person as well and I didn’t emotional guys as well..
But it was harder than I thought.. you cant understand the person in front of you if you do not know him that long.. especially if he knows how to hide his feelings.. but still I liked him a lot I went along with it..
Another 7 months passed before he was able to make it to Amman, I thought this time we needed to talk about us, our feelings, and our relationship. I was not in love with him but I liked him a lot and seeing him every 7 months for a year and half without knowing where this is going is driving me crazy..
And then came the surprise.. he called saying he cant make it.. he is waiting for the hospital to call him for his next job offer and he to be available otherwise he wont have a job..
I felt so disappointed.. his birthday was on the day of his arrival, I bought him so many gifts 3 months in advance as I was very excited but I tried to understand as it was a life decision and his career depended on it..
And then came the shock, he sent me a message saying that he got bored waiting.. (what do you expect after that? that he is going to come to Amman?! Think again) He is going to Tunis for a week with his parents to attend his cousin’s wedding!!!
Tunis!!! For a week!! What about me??!! The person who has been waiting for him for the last 7 months??!! I went crazy.. I kept thinking that maybe he wanted to surprise me and that he will come to Amman even if for a couple of days..
We he sure surprised me.. and did not come..
That made me think that maybe this is a message from him that he wants out.. didn’t he say that actions speak out for words?!!
I felt sad for a couple of days, cried of course alone in the bathroom, but then told my self shit happens and life goes on.. and then he sent me a message from Tunis telling me about his trip and asking about me!!!! Seriously??!!!
I was very brief and cold in my reply.. he said nothing..
And then he sent me another message when he went back to England asking if I was ok as I was treating him differently.. as if he did not know.. then he replied by saying that he knows why I am angry and that I shouldn’t be and that he will make it up to me.. MAKE IT UP TO ME!!!!! Its not that he forgot to call or send me a gift on my birthday, he chose to go somewhere else instead of coming to see me after 7 months of waiting and God knows when he will be able to take another vacation.. I doubt anytime before next year..
When I told him that I am getting different messages from him as I thought that he broke up with me and now he is talking to me, he went crazy and said that I misunderstood..
Its not something he can fix, he wither feels it or he doesn’t.. if he did not feel that he wanted to come and see me even if for a couple of days then the relationship is wrong..
I talked to my close friends thinking maybe they will calm me down and put some sense into me.. but instead they went crazy.. I thought ok maybe I should ask someone older with more experience, I talked to my aunt who is closer to me than my mom, she went crazy as well.. she said the least he could have done was pick up the phone and explain not just send stupid messages, but devised me to wait and see what will he do next..
A week after waiting I sent him a message breaking up with him and wishing him all the best in his life.. he replied by saying “Fair enough, I can see where you are coming from”… Can he?!
Was I wrong? Did I make a wrong decision??!! Ill never know..
Regardles of who was wrong and who was right, it just wasn’t meant to be!
Long distance relationships are the toughest there is. They do more damage than you can imagine!
I suffered from those 😦 Sadly, it was never OK, good, or workable. As you said, “out of sight, out of mind” It’s painful and very frustrating
Most of the time, I had to let wonderful people go, because of the stupid circumstances associated with the whole matter.
I have to admit though, that you were a little selfish, favoring time with you, over him spending time with his family attending a wedding that may or may not have been avoidable by him.
In the end, all I can say is that everything is Naseeb! You might have liked the idea of you and him, but that idea wouldn’t have worked in real life. After all, you didn’t spend enough time to know for sure!
I do believe that long distance relationships are not meant to be, but they happen… If you believe that the person is worth it you can make it happen..
I do not think that I was selfish, he is the one who was.. I have been waiting and waiting for him and then he decides to spend his only vacation somewhere else… I did not ask him to bail on his family, one day would have meant the world to me but maybe as assom said, it was not meant to be..
he sounds so emotionless. I can’t believe he did that.
What was shocking is that I really thought he was different, I know we all think they are.. but this time I didn’t only think it I believed it..
I wrote it on my blog to get the guys opinion and find out if I got it wrong.. Since guys and girls will never understand each other I thought maybe a guy could explain it to me.. but I think I was right..
Well if he is this emotionless then I do not need him in my life.. again, it was simply not meant to be..