My ex-colleague from my ex-job contacted me a month ago saying she is coming to Amman after a month and she would like to see me and our other colleague.. After working together for a year she decided to go to Dubin and take come courses, after that she found a job there and never came back.. I havent seen her in years, almost 4, and was excited about seeing her..
She called me last week, we chatted a bit and then decided to go out the next day because she wanted to introduce us to her Irish boyfriend who was leaving after a couple of days.. I found that a bit weird.. We were never that close for her to be that eager to introduce us to him.. she mentioned something about wanting him to meet her Jordanian friends and that she does not have much open minded friends!! It was weird for me because I thought most people are now open minded about relationships before marriage.. having a boyfriend/girlfriend is very common especially in the age of twenties.. and then I found out why she wanted open minded people!! but the problem is even I am not that open!!!!!
We went out the next day and met her guy, I never met any Irish people but I have to say that this guy is really cute, well educated, smart, and funny.. I was curious and asked how did they both meet.. Apparently they both took the same course and it took them a while until they started seeing each other.. and then she kept on talking about how he changed her.. so far the story in nice and romantic, and then came the shock.. she said they dated for a couple of years before they moved in together! I stared thinking ok Princess, keep an open mind, we know a lot of people who did a lot of crazy things when they travelled or studies abroad and at least this one is in serious relationship and she is not doing it is secrecy..
So you are thinking that this is the shock.. nope that is not it.. the girl lives in Irbid and she said that she has open minded parents but not all her relatives and friends are that understanding so she hides him from most.. so far understandable.. her parents may not know that she is living with him in Dublin, and even if he is staying at her place in Irbid, I am sure he is sleeping at the guests’ room.. so I asked her where are you staying in Amman (are you ready for the shock?), she said that she bought an apartment in Dabouq and that they are staynig there.. she never saw it before she bought it online so HER MOTHER called them the night they arrived to check if they arrived safely and if they liked the apartment and found everything they need..
Believe me I am an open minded person, and I know a lot of open minded parents, but knowing that your daughter is living with her boyfriend shocked me…
I am not judging her, I dont think I will ever do that or think that my parents will ever consider it, but the thing is that I wish I lived her life..
She is madly in love with a cute, nice, madly in love with her guy who is willing to convert for her.. she has an excellent job in which she travels all over the world for.. and that job got her to buy an apartment in Dabouq after four years.. four years people!! I have been working here for four years and I still live paycheck to paycheck and sometimes by the end of the month I am forced to take money from my parents..
They are getting married next year and he is willing to bring his family to Amman as she wants to get married in her country with her family..
I promise its not envy but I do wish I live her life…
mmm, every time i read ur blog i become more sure that u have issues. its not an issue innek m3a2adeh, but i feel u have this free spirit inside who wants to break free but is somehow caged within because of all the community’s rules and regulations if i may say. plus u have an issue with love. u are so infatuated with the idea of love, and wish to be loved so bad. mish ghalat il wa7ad ykun single for a while until the right man comes. and money comes and goes, plus its 2esmeh.. kel wa7ad ma2somlo shi, w inna allaha ma3a il sabereen. if u keep feeling resentment for ur current situation u wont be going anywhere and u will only feel negative inside. work at ur dream instead of ‘not-envying’ ppl. if it comes then it was meant to be, if not, then God has a different plan for u.
sorry if i am sounding harsh, its my observation and i might be wrong of course, but it seems u need to pursue a dream, and let not that dream be a man, fate will find u so dont look for it, but i mean the self satisfactory dream we all need to acheive to feel good bout our life. to feel successful.
she may be in love and he might be madly in love with her as well, but think of all the sins she made by moving in with him, even before that.. is that what u crave for urself?
I have to say that I second Verbal Alchemy, especially in the last paragraph.
Verbal Alchemy: Thanks a lot for your input, it just made me realize how you can never know a person by just reading his blog.. Some of what you said is right but I am not at all infatuated by the idea of love.. my friends and family are going crazy and they think that I have issues because the idea of not getting married or fidning my “one” bothers me.. of course I do want to be loved and love to see people who are in love, but I am totally fine with the idea of it not happening to me.. If the right man comes then ahlan wa sahlan if not I am not willing to spend the rest of my life with a man who is not worth it just for the idea of being with a man..
Everyone has a dream and I dont think its wrong if a part of it (and not all of it) is being able to afford an apartment in four years.. well each has his different dream.. I know it is all ismeh and I am definately not 3am ba3tired but I dont think there is a problem with dreaming 🙂
If you have noticed, I did not say I “do not envy” her for moving in with him, and I said that I will never do it, its just the idea.. thanks again for your comment 🙂
Thanks for your comment Jasim and welcome to my blog 🙂
Boy,do I understand her,”when Irish eyes are smiling”,while looking at you.
Those Irish guys got it going on with looks of raven black locks,charm,personality and passionate nature,since they are mixed with the hot blooded Spaniards.
Well,you saw it for yourself.So,please,try to put yourself in her place,she’s madly in love and the passion she feels has blinded her to any foolish mistake she may be making,which might be her ruin.Help her will you before she becomes a victim.
Those Cuban and New Jersey guys got it going on too.Boy!Do they look good!Take my advise, women and homosexual men,everywhere: Stay away from Cuba and New Jersey,hehehe,if at all posible.You could be a potantial victim by a fraudulent boy-friend.
Dima ya Dima, quoting you
“plus u have an issue with love. u are so infatuated with the idea of love, and wish to be loved so bad.”
Well don’t we all? We all want to be loved, be it in a romantic relationship, friendships or casual acquaintances. See, this is what I have against psychological science, it was generated by people who had no lives of their own and simply stood aside and watched everyone else live their lives, they, during the process, managed to watch the human behavior and come up with “observations” that consist of common human behavior, feelings, tendencies .. etc, they then wrote all there observations down and managed to convince stupid people that they’re problems, you see, some people are too buzy actually living that they don’t really try to rationalize every feeling they get, while the previously mentioned people took the time to take notes, so lamma yeeji a shrink ye7keelek inti haik haik btinsidmi inno keef 3iref! When in fact huwwe ma 3iref, il kull haik bi7ess, bas mish il kull be7ki. I don’t mean you bi had il 7aki, I mean those who created this sort of science, you’re a victim as well 😛 Anyway, il wa7ad kteer sihel yintaleq bi mawdou3 if he experienced it for himself.
Back to you N,
I salute you for your honesty. Every single human being experiences feelings of, balash envy, ‘3abta hiyyeh isemha bil deen I guess. It could turn into an obsession marrat that’s true, bas it could motivate us to improve ourselves, ya3ni keef il wa7ad biddo ye3raf shu biddo iza ma bi3raf il possibilities il mawjoudeh out there!! Kan lissatna halla2 bnilbes flared jeans w 7abbeenhom! Kul, kul, kul, w kul bani2am experienced at some point a sort of jealousy aw whatever you’d like to call it, bas nobody confesses to it, fi nas btitfarraj 3a ishi 2ilek bi sou2 niyyeh, inno waal niyyalha! Ana biddi haik, hiyyeh ma btistahal, hadol they’re envious, bas fi nas btittalla3 bi 7oson niyyeh, they don’t wish whatever it is they’d like to have inno yrou7 minnek, no, be7kou mashallah, that’s something I wish I had too! This is healthy, willa la2, this is beyond healthy, it’s a must, it’s totally normal, bas being this honest isn’t, so next time you decide to post something sugar coat it shwayy 😛
What she has sounds nice, but it wouldn’t necessarily work out with you if you had it, inshallah bejeeki wa7ad Irbidawi be3raf yotbokh! Bidnash Irish!
its verbal alchemy not chemistry 😛
do note that i did not stress on the love bit as much as i stressed on u not pursuing ur dream and feeling caged. i really appreciate u taking my comment (the very long one) with such an attitude, w true u cant fully know a person by just reading their blog but words are powerful. i wish u all the best, and hope life’s stress doesnt take u away from what u truly want.
bless!
Kristen: it seems you have some stories to tell about Irish, Cuban and New Jersey guys 🙂
Khouloud: I have to say you do understand me woman 🙂 its definately not envy, i wish her all the best but there is nothing wrong with wishing the same to you.. the thing is I dont wish for every sinlge thing or detail in her life to happen to mine I just want the idea… I dont know if that is clear 🙂
Please please not Irbidawi, I had myshare mith these and it did not work out at ALL 🙂 I wish you all the best
Verbal Alchemy: sorry 🙂 I changed it ma tiz3ali 🙂
Any comment from you is more than welcome no matter how long it is 🙂 I wish you all the best as well…
Let’s just say I’d like women to use caution when it comes to good looking and charming guys.
Khoulood “‘3abta hiyyeh isemha bil deen I guess” Hehe, no this is its name in Arabic, not in deen, may seem silly, but i its funny how we mix things.
Hi Princess
i know this feeling, to feel like being with someone, its so charming. I think it is worth it to wait another couple of years if the one coming will stay life-long with you. it is really worth it. Moving in with a lover is very nice too, but only if he/she is the one, it may be religiously not wanted, but not if he/she is the one, i think . I wish your friend the best, i know it is “brave” what she is doing there in Amman, coz its Amman, but if he is the one then its fine i think. But still not suitable to Jordan and its culture.
Reading your blog makes me know how much you long to love (this is the feeling you give us), so best wishes 🙂 .
MD: I think every person longs to some kind of love.. mother love, family love, friends love, or a lover love.. I do look for love but at the same time I LOVE my freedom.. I love that I go to work, the go to the gym or out with my friends and then get back home lay on the couch without doing nothing.. i like it that i can do whatever I want whenever… and I think this is what is driving my family crazy.. I have been in releationships but commitment scares me… I am not the fooling around kind of a girl, I like to be in serious relationships but when it comes too serious I freeze.. I think as Verbal Alchemy said I do have issues 🙂
My point in this story was that this girl has rebelled on every tradition we grew up on and yet she is enjoying her life.. again its not that I will do it or I am definate that I will live happily in her shoes but she changed my concept of a lot of things.. I am not sure if the message is clear but thanks for your comment..
Dear Princess N:
Like all ur stories which i like to follow up this one is marvellous, i agree with the guy who said that u have to think of all the sins she made to get along to this way!!!!
And convert??!! she is muslim and living in irbed too?? that is wiered !!! actually i don’t call her parents “Open minded” i can say something else about them!!!
el wa7ed be3eesh o besma3 7abebty, and do not get depressed my dear, MR rights sure is coming in the way just b patient and i learned something from life:
Always do not envy, u don’t know what other ppl suffer; there are always somekind of problems
My best wishes my dear to u and ur stories
mayyasi: thanks a lot for your comment dear, you are right, nothing surprises me anymore, 3anjad il wa7ad bi3eesh o byisma3 🙂
Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation 🙂 Anyway … nice blog to visit.
cheers, Cutback.
Cutback: my point is we have always lived worrying about what people think what is wrong and write in the eye of our society, I was trying to explain that there are things that I do not accept or can do and yet there are people who just dont care and just follow their own happiness…
I am not sure if that makes it clearer, but welcome to my blog 🙂