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Archive for December, 2007

Final Decision

I would like to thank everyone who helped me and kept following up on my relationship with my ex. I thought about it for a couple of days and finally made my decision.. I am letting go..

I am a 28 year old, good looking, well educated, and coming from a good background girl… I deserve better.. I deserve someone who will appreciate me and knows how to treat me.. I deserve someone who will make his best not to let me go.. I deserve someone who would be concerned if I was sad or unhappy… I do not believe in fantasies and in Cinderella stories but I know that there are still good guys out there that are decent and knows that girls are not just toys to play with..

I know what I want from life, thank God I live a happy life with 2 great parents and the best sisters and brother anyone can have.. I have great friends, a great job and am free to do whatever I feel like.. I am a stubborn person but one nice little word can make me forget all my anger and stubbornness.. I have a warm heart and am a very honest person.. so I have decided that I am not going to share the rest of my life, my future and myself with someone who does not deserve it..

This is going to hurt for a while but its ok, ill manage.. this is not my first nor my last time.. life goes on and doesn’t stop because of one person…

I’m letting go and hoping 2008 will be raining men 🙂  

Happy new year everyone…

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The closure

Some of you advised me to get a closure and let go of my ex boyfriend, while others advised me to tell him how I feel and see how it goes, I knew I could not directly tell him that I miss him especially that I am the one who ended our relationship (yes my damn pride I know) but I thought Ill give it a try my way..

I was online checking the blogs when he appeared on line.. I waited for 10 minutes and when he did not say anything I did.. I started with a sentence that we used to start with whenever we used to send messages or chat, it was a normal chat talking about the holidays and work..

When I was about to sign out I asked him what his plans were for the holidays and he told me that he is coming to Amman for a week.. Was he going to tell me if I did not ask? I guess not..  I told him earlier that I am traveling on the weekend to attend my niece’s first birthday and still he did not mention that he is coming to Amman then..

I gave him all the signs, although I know that you guys do not understand them sometimes, but I clearly let him understand that I am fine with it now and that I still care..  

You know what’s sad? Its sad that I was hoping that he would tell me that he is coming to Amman and that he wants to see me… Is that too much for him to say or is he really over me? I guess its the second..

And do you know what’s even more sad, its that I know he did not give any signs that he wants to see me and yet I am hoping he will call or send me a message when he is here… pitty me..

He will be in Amman, and I wont.. maybe these are signs from God that this is when I have to let go..

This is my closure.. he is over me…

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The ex

Is is ok to stay friends with your ex? especially when you have someone new in your life?

I am still in touch with my ex, not on a daily basis but we chat and we go out when he comes to Amman or when I go to Dubai.. I am sure that the feelings are not there anymore but we talk to each other about things that we do not tell other people.. he talks to me about his current girlfriend and I give him advice and vice versa..

I did tell my, by then, boyfriend about him, that we are friends and I did tell him everytime I went out with him but I never told him that we were in a 3 years, on and off, relationship.. Its not that because there is something wrong about it its just that I did not know how will he feel about it. And he did not say anything about me going out with him for coffee or something so I thought he is not the jealous type.

And yes I did put my self in his shoes and yes I would be jelous and not understanding if he was talking to his ex but what shall I do?

He as well became my ex now and its too late for that but even if I found my self a new boyfriend should I stop speaking to the ex?

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The Wicker Man

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With my brother in Beirut, my sister in Aqaba, and my father invited to dinner, I was sitting home with my mother flipping through TV channels looking for something to watch.. we flipped through the satellite channels, Orbit, Showtime, even JTV until we finally found a movie for Nicholas Cage on Show Movies.. I love the guy, and love all his movies, therefore I was wondering how come I never heard of this movie, its called The Wicker Man…

My mother and I set our lazy chairs infront of the screen, got our popcorn and juices and started watching the movie..

I can say this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen… my mother and I kept thinking he must be dreaming and that he will wake up soon.. well he did not..

The story is about a cop in which his ex- fiance contacts him after 7 or 8 years asking for his help in finding her missing daughter which at the end turns out to be his..

The crazy part is the island where she lives.. you would think that I as a female would like it since it is ruled by females but it was scary… We kept watching even after the story did not make any sense to get to the ending and find out how they are going to explain all the weird things.. well they did not..

At the end, the girl burns her dad alive… yup you read right..

After the movie ended, I told mom “filem mutakhalef” so she said “la wallah ni7na il mutakhalifeen illi shufna haik filem :)”

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Another year..

Another year has passed and man it was fast…  I believe that whatever happens happens for a reason, and usually its for the best even if it takes time to figure it out.. But sometimes I wonder if I can go back what will I change?

2006 was a great year.. I loved it.. my niece was born in 2006, I met my boyfriend in 2006, it was a great year in my career as well…

2007 was a long boring year..I broke up with my boyfriend in 2007, I lost a close relative, I got bored of my job.. it was not all bad, I dont like to be a pessimistic but I am just hoping 2008 will be a better year..

Happy Eid, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year tp you all…

  

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Going on a blind date…

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I went on blind date yesterday.. my friend called me the other day and told me that she wants to introduce me to the cousin of her friend.. I just got out from a relationship and to tell you the truth I am enjoying my freedom.. I realized that I love being single. Our lives are filled with commitments.. you are committed to your work, committed to your family, but when it comes to your personal life its nice to be free.. 

Nevertheless, I knew that my friends will start a fight if I did not go out and will go on with how I don’t give guys a change and all that crap.. so I said I have nothing to loose.  

I turned 28 a couple of months ago, and the guy was 36.. some people do not mind older people, and its fine, but I do.. I think it’s a personality thing.. but I said there are some guys that are older but fun and young from the inside.. so I went..  

The minute I arrived I couldn’t not stare at his head.. the guy was bold.. not shaved his head bold.. my dad bold… with a little bit of hair around his ears and back head.. When I came closer I saw a WHITE saksookeh on his face!! I wanted to run but I thought I should not judge maybe he has a nice personality.. I was wrong..  

The guy was very decent and he seems to be iben 3alam o nas but I think when its not right its not right.. I tried, I really did but there was not attraction what so ever and I was not even interested in what he was saying.. he not only looked old but also felt old.. Thank God his cousin and my friend were with us otherwise I would have died from boredom.  

When we left my friend tab3an was “what do you think” and I was “NO”.. she was “No??!! well I shall give you an A+ on your performance” I was like “y?” she said “you were talking and smiling I thought you like the guy, if I were you I would have 3asabet and just wanted to leave” 

I used to do that.. but when I really thought about it, why would I do that to someone who’s only fault is that he wanted to know me.. 3aib… a little respect wont harm, and I am sure he is pressured more than I am… I would just enjoy my cup of coffee and go home with no harm done..

I didn’t get mad from my friend, she told me earlier that she did not know him and I know that only a true friend who likes you a lot would leave their houses and children to go out for a couple of hours to introduce you to someone. 

I hate blind dates but how else will you meet someone.. and I think its better you meet through your friends than through your parents!!!

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Superpowers

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I have been watching the series “Heroes” and I still cant determine if it’s a nice series or not… I mean I cant say I like it, I don’t, I am not into superpowers things but I cant stop watching it, I’m hooked..

The series is about different people finding out that they have superpowers with an organization that is trying to control and use them and a guy called Syler trying to kill them and take their powers.

Each one has a different power:

A cheerleader that can heal her wounds

A police officer that can hear people’s thoughts

A senator that can fly

A Japanese that can travel through time

A guy that can walk through walls

A little boy that can control machines

A little girl that can allocate people

A guy that can disappear

An artist that can paint the future

A guy who has nuclear powers

A mother with double personalities, the nice one and the powerful one

If I had the ability to have superpowers, which one will I prefer?  

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